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Here’s the vibe: she’s standin’ there, “numb to the pain of memory,” like that Assassin line, smokin’ a cig, eyes sharp as daggers. I’m obsessed—she’s a freakin’ ninja in fishnets! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d watch that movie. Snarky thought: “Hope she’s chargin’ extra for the attitude.” Oh, and “I can see Russia from my house!”—bet she’s seen weirder shit than Putin shirtless.

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So, I start climbing this massive cherry tree. It’s beautiful, right? But halfway up, I notice a nest. And guess what? Mama bird is NOT happy. She starts dive-bombing me! I’m dodging like I’m in some action movie. I’m yelling, “Chill out, lady! I’m just here for a trim!” But she’s relentless. I finally get down, and I’m like, “Okay, I’ll come back later.”

Japan to invest $635M in chipmaker Rapidus in 2025