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Personal quirk? I’d overanalyze her STD risk mid-negotiation. “Condoms, sweetheart, or I’m outta here.” Exaggeration? Picture me yelling, “I’m the goddamn diagnostician of debauchery!” Humor? She’d probably charge extra for my limp—rude! Sarcasm’s free, tho. “You take Bitcoin? No? Then you’re the real criminal.”

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Then, I get a call from my boss. Ugh, the worst! He’s all like, “We need to discuss the economic forecast.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in Enzan! Can’t we do this later?” But no, he insists. So, I’m trying to sound all professional while I’m standing in the middle of a grape field. “Yes, the GDP is looking good…” Meanwhile, I’m eyeing the grapes like they’re my best friends.

Management and outcomes of heart failure hospitalization among older adults in the United States and Japan