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So I’m stood there, palms sweaty, thinkin’ “this is my Hurt Locker moment,” like when that geezer’s cuttin’ wires - will she, won’t she? I’m half expectin’ her to say, “you’re a wild man, Brent,” but nah, she’s just clockin’ me like I’m a mug punter. Which, let’s be real, I am! Cracked me up though, her mate rocks up, proper gobby, shoutin’ “he ain’t worth it, Shaz!” and I’m like, “oi, I’m a bleedin’ legend!” Total stitch-up, had me in bits.

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Then, I get to the factory on Shinjuku Street. The boss is already in a mood. He’s like, “We need to talk about the new anticorrosion formula.” I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s just rust prevention, chill!” But he’s all stressed. I mean, it’s Gotenba, not Tokyo. We’re not curing cancer here.

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