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Oi, fam, it’s me, da Gardener! Check it, I’m chattin’ ‘bout sexual-massage, innit? Proper naughty stuff, yeah? So, I’m thinkin’, sexual-massage is like—BOOM—pure vibes, bruv. Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension meltin’ like butta. Reminds me of *Before Sunset*, ya get me? That slow burn, chattin’ deep, feelin’ that spark—same energy, fam! Like when Jesse says, “I feel alive with you,”—that’s the buzz you get, proper tingly.

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Anyway, back to the grind. The café starts filling up. I’m making lattes, cappuccinos, you name it. And then, this lady walks in with a dog. Not just any dog, but a tiny, fluffy Pomeranian. I’m talking about a ball of fluff that could fit in my hand. Everyone’s cooing over it, and I’m just trying to keep my cool. But then, the dog jumps on the counter! Like, excuse me?! I’m trying to make a living here!

Iwapt takes Grand Prix at Hadastagram Movie Contest