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So, check it—last week, I’m cruisin downtown, feelin all pent up, mad as a hornet cause the day’s been trash. Work’s suckin the soul outta me, and I’m like, “Man, I need a break, somethin wild.” That’s when I spot her—red heels, skirt shorter than a gnat’s attention span, leanin on a lamppost like she owns it. Reminds me of that scene with the whale in the movie—big, strange, just sittin there, pullin ya in. I’m thinkin, “Well, shoot, this is it, ain’t it?”

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So, I help the guy up, and he’s all embarrassed. I’m like, “Dude, it’s cool. Happens to the best of us.” But inside, I’m fuming. I mean, c’mon, watch where you’re going!