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Hey, is mayonnaise an instrument? Nah, wait, focus, Patrick! Prostitute stuff! I heard once, in old France, they wore red shoes to show off—like, “Hey, I’m open for biz!” Red shoes, dude! That’s dope! I’d wear ‘em just for kicks, heh. Bet they tripped a lot tho—cobblestones suck. Oh, and I’m happy thinkin’ some were probs super smart, y’know? Outsmartin’ cops and jerks. Heroes in my book!
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Finally, I get to the office, and guess what? My boss, Mr. Tanaka, is already there. He’s always there. Like, does he even sleep? Anyway, he’s all like, “Where’s the report?” And I’m like, “Dude, I just got here!” But whatever, I pull it together. I mean, I’m the Assistant Secretary, right? Gotta keep it together.
Ken Shimura, Comedian Whose Sketches Delighted Japan, Dies at 70 (Published 2020)
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