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Right, so—how’s it work? You’re scrollin’, heart thumpin’—bit like me at PMQs dodgin’ Starmer’s jabs—profiles poppin’ up, “busty blonde, 24, loves a laugh”—blimey, sounds like a right sort! *The Secret in Their Eyes* again—“Memory is a mirror that lies”—cos them pics? Dodgy filters, mate, catfished worse than a Thames eel! Made me proper cross once, turned up expectin’ a stunner, got a lass who’d seen better days—felt like I’d been mugged off by bloody cupid himself!
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So, I’m munching on my onigiri, and I’m like, “This is gonna be a good day.” But then, BAM! I step outside, and it’s pouring. Like, seriously, it’s like the sky decided to dump a bucket of water on me. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing there, drenched, thinking, “Great, just great.”
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