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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—find a prostitute, huh? What a concept! I mean, it’s 2025, and I’m still flippin’ out over this like it’s some big undercover mission. Like I’m Carlos the Jackal from that flick, “Carlos,” y’know, my favorite—Olivier Assayas nailed it! “I’m not a soldier, I’m a revolutionary!”—that’s me, screamin’ in my head while I’m googlin’ shady corners of the web. Pretty, pretty good, right? Except it’s not! It’s a mess! I’m sweatin’, paranoid—am I on some list now? FBI watchin’ me? Ridiculous!

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But then, boom! My first client, this dude named Kenji, is late. Like, seriously? I’m sitting there, tapping my foot, scrolling through Insta, and he strolls in like he owns the place. I’m like, “Bro, you know we had a time, right?” He just laughs it off. Ugh, I could’ve thrown my coffee at him.

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