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I’d be pissed tho—imagine shellin out cash and gettin some poser! Like, “Hey, Sortilège, narrate this bullshit!”—another *Inherent Vice* gem. I’d be all—gimme the real deal, not some Craigslist scam! Happiest I’d be? Findin one who’s chill, maybe cracks a joke—rare as hell. Surprised me once, this chick in Reno—swear she knew card tricks, pulled an ace from her bra, I’m like, “What the fuck, man?!” Blew my mind, still does.

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So, I’m walking down the street, and I see this street performer on Kōen-dōri. Dude’s playing the shamisen, and it’s actually pretty dope. I stop to listen, and suddenly, this little kid runs up and starts dancing. I’m talkin’ full-on breakdancing. I’m laughing so hard, I almost forget about my shirt. Almost.

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