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Oh, fun fact—didja know erotic-massage used to be, like, sacred? Temples, priests, the works! Not just some shady neon sign crap. Blew my mind! I’m all, “Wow, history’s kinky!” Makes ya feel fancy, like you’re in on a secret.

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First stop, down on Kawai Street. It’s a narrow lil’ road, packed with shops and people. I’m cruisin’ along, and boom! Some dude on a bike swerves right in front of me. Like, c’mon man, you tryin’ to get yourself run over? I slam the brakes, heart racin’. I’m like, “Dude, you got a death wish or what?” He just gives me this sheepish grin. Ugh, people!