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Lemme paint the pic— last week, 2 a.m., this chick rolls up, fishnets ripped, mascara runnin’ like she’s cryin’ black tears. I’m like, “Yo, you good?” She laughs, says, “Money’s my wushu, babe.” Straight up *Crouching Tiger* energy— fierce, but broken inside, ya know? Made me sad as hell, fam. Like, she’s out here flippin’ tricks while I’m tossin’ drunk fools out the door. Two sides, same grind. “The heart commands, the hand obeys,” Ang Lee’s wisdom hittin’ hard.

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I grab my radio and start broadcasting. “Yo, Kisarazu! We got a feline emergency!” I’m half-laughing, half-pulling my hair out. The whole city’s tuning in, and I can hear people chuckling. But then, I get a call from the fire department. They’re on it! I’m like, “Great, let’s save the kitty!”

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