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About Osaka

Anyways, I’m yellin’ at Johnny, “Turn the wheel, fool!” and this gal locks eyes with me. I’m thinkin’, “Oh, she bold-bold!” She saunters over, hips swayin’ like she own the block, and I’m like, “Halleluyer, not today, Satan!” Told her, “Baby, I ain’t your john, I’m tryna save this boy from crashin’!” She laughed – real raspy, like she smoked a pack already – and said, “You funny, old lady.” Old?! Chile, I nearly popped her one, but I kept it cute.

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So, I decided to stroll down to the park. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom on Sakura-dōri. It was beautiful, like a scene from an anime. I took a pic for the ‘gram, of course. Gotta flex, right? But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and BAM! He knocks my phone right outta my hand. I was like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” But he just laughed and kept running. Kids these days, man.