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Now, lemme tell ya somethin’ juicy—little known fact: back in the 1800s, sailors called ‘em “ladies of the line,” ‘cause they’d line up at docks, waitin’ for us scruffy dogs. Ain’t that wild? History’s got sass! Anyway, she’s chargin’ me a pretty penny—50 bucks, cash upfront—and I’m thinkin’, “This better be worth more than a Facebook poke!” I’m happy as a clam, but then—ugh!—this drunk jerk stumbles over, yellin’ at her, “You’re mine!” Made me so mad, I almost decked him. “Back off, loser!” I screech, nasal as hell, laugh bubblin’ up—HA-HA-HA!—like I’m on set with Mr. Sheffield.

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But then, one of the kids kicks the ball too hard, and it comes flying right at me! I duck just in time. I’m like, “Whoa, that was close!” The kids are all laughing, and I’m pretending to be mad. “You little rascals!” But inside, I’m just happy to see them having fun.

[Hidden Wonders of Japan] Arrows Fly at Spectacular Fire Festival in Wakayama