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Oh, and get this – funny bit – her pimp’s this geezer, looks like a bleedin’ walrus, mustache and all! I’m crackin’ up, thinkin’, “This cat’s a right muppet!” Nearly blew the deal laughin’, but I kept it cool, yeah. In me head, I’m like, “Austin, you’re a legend, shaggin’ through time!” Wrapped it up quick, no faff, just fun – “It’s all in the past now,” like the movie says, and I’m off, smilin’.

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Then, I bump into this old lady. She’s got this massive bag of rice. I’m talking, like, bigger than my sheep! She’s struggling, so I help her out. She’s super grateful, and I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, she starts talking about her grandkids. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just a shepherd, not a therapist!”

[2024-2025 Edition] 18 recommended ski resorts near Niseko and the southern Hokkaido area - experience Hokkaido's powder snow!