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Lemme spill it—erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs. It’s old, like ancient-old. Think Rome, orgy vibes, oil everywhere. They’d slather ya up, no kiddin’. Made me happy knowin’ folks been freaky forever. Little factoid: Japan’s got this nuru thing—slippery seaweed gel! Sounds wild, right? Hmm… Homer’d slip off the table!

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I finally find her, and she’s in tears. I’m like, “What’s wrong?” Turns out, she forgot her mom’s birthday. I’m like, “Girl, how do you forget that?!” But I feel for her. We hit up a few stores, and I find this gorgeous necklace. She loves it! I’m like, “Yasss, we did it!”