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About Saitama

So, we starts thinkin’, me and meself—where’s the prossies at? Moscow’s wild, yesss—Red Square’s all fancy, but nah, not there. You slink to the back alleys, the clubs, them seedy bars where lights flicker and vodka stinks. Hiss! Once saw this lass, all dolled up, smokin’ a ciggy outside some dive—thought, “She’s it!” Nope! Just a drunk uni chick, lost as hell—made me mad, wasted me time! Grrr! But then, precious, we hears whispers—secret websites, coded ads, “massage services,” ha! Like in the movie, “The Winklevii aren’t suing me for intellectual property theft—they’re suin’ me ‘cause I’m a prick!”—well, I ain’t no prick, just desperate, eh?

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I’m like, “Dude, I’m knee-deep in stove parts!” But then he mentions food stalls. I’m like, “Okay, I’m in!” So I throw on my shoes and head out. The streets are packed! I mean, it’s like everyone in Makabe decided to show up. I’m dodging people on Chūō-dōri, trying not to spill my drink.

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