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But yo, some fools out here overcharge—$200 for a rubdown? Man, that pisses me off! I’m like, “Bruh, I ain’t droppin’ stacks for slippery fingers!” Had this one chick once, tho, real pro—soft hands, knew the spots, had me floatin’ like I smoked the fattest blunt. Surprised the hell outta me, like, “This what heaven feel like?” She whispered some shit ‘bout tantric energy, chi flowin’—I’m like, “Word? Keep it comin’, girl!” That’s the real deal, not some whack-ass spa scam.

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After the festival, I head back to work. Mr. Tanaka’s still grumpy. He’s like, “You’re late!” I’m like, “Dude, I was at a festival!” He rolls his eyes. Classic Tanaka.

University, museum in Hokkaido making skeletal display of exterminated brown bear