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I got mad once—heard this story ‘bout a gal in New Orleans, 1800s, called Madame Lulu. She was a hooker with a pet alligator—yep, a damn gator!—kept it in her brothel to scare off deadbeats. Ain’t that wild? Made me laugh too, ‘cause I’m picturin’ this scaly bouncer snappin’ at some drunk fool. How’s *that* workin’ for ya, buddy? Bet he paid up quick!

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So, I’m tryin’ to focus, right? But then, outta nowhere, this cat jumps on my workbench. A freakin’ cat! I’m like, “What are you doin’ here, buddy?” It’s just chillin’, lookin’ at me like I’m the weird one. I shoo it away, but it just sits there, all sassy. I can’t help but laugh. Like, who knew a cat could be my new coworker?

Olympic champion speed skater Nana Takagi calls it quits