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So, I’m chattin’ her up, right? She’s tellin’ me ‘bout this john who stiffed her—haha, “stiffed,” get it? Total loser move. Said he drove a beat-up Chevy, smelled like cheese. Cheese! Who does that? Made me happy tho—she cracked up, forgot her shitty night for a sec. Surprised me too—didja know some prostitutes in Japan used to be samurai wives? Wild, right? History’s nuts. Anyway, I’m like, “Stay cool, lady,” and bounced. “The future is ours!”—movie line stuck in my head. Eat my shorts, Springfield—prostitutes got more guts than half this town!

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After the hike, we head to a local izakaya. I’m starving! I order some local specialties—y’know, the grilled fish and mountain veggies. But then, Mr. Know-It-All strikes again. “Where’s the sushi?” I’m about to lose it. “Dude, we just hiked in the Alps! Enjoy the local cuisine!” But I keep it cool.

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