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About Kyoto

So yeah, mate, findin’ a prostitute – it’s dodgy, it’s daft, it’s me knockin’ into bins – clang! – tryna look cool. Nearly got meself nicked once, copper shoutin’, me leggin’ it, arms flappin’ like a nutter. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt like a bleedin’ chase scene! “I didn’t see him,” I pant, movie-style, all dramatic. Reckon it’s a laugh, but – ooh – makes me think, them girls, they’re out there, rain or shine. Respect, y’know? Anyway, gotta dash – me tea’s burnin’! Heh, typical!

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So, I grab my coffee and head out. I’m strolling down the riverbank by the Kiso River, and it’s beautiful. The cherry blossoms are still hanging on, and I’m feeling all poetic. I whip out my notebook, ready to jot down some genius ideas. But then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Ugh! Seriously? I’m like, “Thanks, nature.”

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