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I’d be all, “Hey, lady, got any stock tips?” And she’s like, “Honey, I got somethin’ better!” That’s what she said! Oh, man, I’d laugh so hard I’d cry. Prostitution’s old as dirt—fun fact, ancient Babylon had temple hookers, sacred stuff! Wild, right? Makes me happy thinkin’ bout history, but also mad—why’s it still a thing? Society, man, so messed up.

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area.

So, I’m wandering around, trying to find a charger. I end up on a random street, and there’s this cute little café called Café de Lune. I pop in, and the barista is super chill. I order a coffee, and he gives me this weird look. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just coffee!” But then he hands me this amazing latte art. I’m like, “Okay, you win.”

Blossoming among the blossoms