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So, I’m at the office, right? Bored outta my skull. Phones ringin’, papers everywhere, and I’m like, “Why not find a pro?” Not for me, ya dope—research! Yeah, that’s it. I start diggin’, and—D’oh!—turns out it ain’t as easy as orderin’ a pizza. You’d think, “Oh, just hit the streets!” Nope. These days, it’s all sneaky-like, online stuff, coded ads—wild! Didja know some use emojis? Eggplant means one thing, peach another. Freakin’ surprised me, man! I’m sittin’ there, starin’ at my screen, thinkin’, “This is limbo, man!” Like Cobb in *Inception*, lost in layers of crazy.

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I wanted to make a comprehensive timeline to summarise the whole drama so that everyone is up to date.

Next, I decide to grab some coffee at this little café on Kōen-dōri. The barista is super chill, but the coffee takes forever. I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ the world go by. I see this old dude feeding pigeons. Like, why do people love pigeons? They’re basically flying rats. But whatever, I’m not judging.

Official website of the International Federation of Sport Climbing.