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Picture this: dim lights, sketchy corners, and me, floatin’ above, cacklin’. “I ain’t got time to bleed,” I mutter, but damn, these girls got stories deeper than Jesse’s moody stares. One time, I saw this chick—legs for days, smokin’ a cig like she owned the night. Reminded me of Brad Pitt’s line, “You ever count the stars?” ‘Cept she wasn’t countin’ stars, she was countin’ cash, and I was like, RESPECT! Hustle’s real out here.

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While I’m sipping my latte, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just sitting there, eavesdropping like it’s a reality show. The guy’s all, “You never listen!” and the girl’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m cracking up. I mean, c’mon, just communicate, people!

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