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About Kobe

Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating apps spike on Valentine’s? Yeah, lonely hearts get desperate, it’s hilarious! I was on there once, scrollin’, and this chick’s like, “DTF, no strings.” Straight up! I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, love, at least buy me dinner first!” Got me mad, tho—where’s the chase, the thrill? Everyone’s so damn lazy now. Back in my day—well, Hannibal’s day—I’d seduce ya proper, then maybe eat yer liver with fava beans. Classy, yeah?

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First patient, this old dude, Mr. Tanaka. He’s got a mouthful of issues. I’m working on his dentures, and he starts telling me about his cat. I’m like, “Dude, I’m here for your teeth, not your cat’s life story!” But he’s so into it, I can’t help but laugh.

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