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About Tokyo

Me, I’d be happy just watchin’ Leo snort cash off a table—prostitutes or not, that movie’s my jam. But real life? Hmm… it’s messy. Ya gotta dodge creeps, cops, and crusty motels. Pro tip—check reviews online, like Yelp for hookers! Sounds fake, but it’s legit—people rate ‘em. “Five stars, smelled nice!”—hahaha, I’m dyin’! Anyway, don’t be a dope—cash upfront, no IOUs, or you’re screwed. “Money talks, bullshit walks,” right?

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First off, I get a call from this frantic lady. She’s like, “My cat, Mr. Whiskers, ate a whole bag of catnip!” I’m like, “Lady, that’s like giving a kid a whole bag of candy!” But I rush over to her place on Omote-Sando anyway. Traffic was a mess, of course. Narita’s streets can be a nightmare. I swear, I saw a guy on a bike almost get taken out by a bus. Crazy!

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