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Talkin’ to my buddy Joe once—he’s a cabbie—he says, “Bern, they’re everywhere if ya look.” Surprised me, man! Thought it was all online now—apps and shit—but nah, streets still got action. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but Joe swears he saw a cop wink at one once—corrupt as hell! I’m like, “Gimme a break, system’s rotten!”

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First thing, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the best onigiri? I grab a couple, and the cashier, this super chill dude, gives me a nod like we’re best buds. I’m like, “Yeah, man, I’m back for more!” But then, I spill my drink all over the counter. Classic me, right? I’m just standing there, mortified, while he’s laughing. I mean, come on!