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Lemme spill some tea—did ya know sexual-massage joints popped up in Victorian times? Yeah, uptight Brits called it “nerve therapy”—ha! Total cover-up for horny lords. Makes me laugh, those sneaky bastards! Pisses me off too—why hide it? Own it! Greed is good, right? I’d run that racket—cash stackin’ like skyscrapers.

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First thing, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the best onigiri? I grab a couple, and the cashier, this super chill dude, gives me a nod like we’re best buds. I’m like, “Yeah, man, I’m back for more!” But then, I spill my drink all over the counter. Classic me, right? I’m just standing there, mortified, while he’s laughing. I mean, come on!