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About Saitama

Fun fact—didja know some prostitutes in history were loaded? Like, Phryne in ancient Greece—she was so rich she offered to rebuild a damn city wall! Candy ain’t that level, but she’s got grit. Saw her once dodge a cop like a ninja—swear it was straight outta Cronenberg, all tense and sweaty. “This is my life now,” she’d say, like Viggo Mortensen, all dramatic. Made me laugh, tho—girl’s a survivor, gotta respect that hustle.

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So, I’m under the hood, and it’s hot as hell. I’m sweatin’ like a pig. And then, outta nowhere, this little kid runs up. He’s got a soccer ball, and he kicks it right into my face! I’m like, “What the—?!” The kid just laughs and runs off. I’m sittin’ there, stunned, and the guy’s crackin’ up. I can’t help but laugh too. Kids, man. They’re wild.

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