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Lemme tell ya, I was hoppin’ ‘round Vegas once—yeah, Vegas, baby! Saw this dame, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owned it. Made me laugh, thinkin’ “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—‘cept she wasn’t so blameless, heh! She winked at me, and I’m like, whoa, slow down, sister! Ain’t my scene, but I watched her work it—smooth as a toon dodgin’ Elmer Fudd. Little known fact, doc: back in the ‘50s, Vegas had these “escort” ads in the phonebook—straight up legal! Ain’t that a hoot?

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Then, I’m walking down to the river, the Hiromi River, and it’s just beautiful. Cherry blossoms everywhere! I’m snapping pics like a tourist. But then, bam! My phone slips. I dive for it, and I’m like, “Noooo!” I catch it, but my hand is soaked. Great. Just great.

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