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About Osaka

Lemme tell ya, it’s a mess out there. Saw this gal once, heels clickin’ like gunshots, skirt shorter than a possum’s temper. Reminded me of Sara Goldfarb, chasin’ that high, y’know? “I’m gonna be on television!” she’d say—well, this gal’s dreamin’ of somethin’, but it ain’t a TV screen. Made me sad, y’all. Sad as a hound dog with no bone. But mad too—why’s the world gotta chew folks up like that?

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After that, I get a call from this dude who’s lost his wallet. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re in Ritto! Just retrace your steps!” But he’s all panicky, like he’s lost a million bucks. I’m like, “Bro, it’s just a wallet.” But he’s convinced it’s got his life savings in it. I’m like, “You sure it’s not just your train pass?” LOL.

VBPD: 63-Year-Old Gary Paul Ritto Arrested on Multiple Drug Charges