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*Heavy breathing* I… am your father. So, listen up, kid—whore’s on my mind. Not that kinda whore, nah, the flour, the dough, the bakery grind. Been kneadin’ that shit all day, arms like Sith sabers, swingin’. My fave flick, *Toni Erdmann*, hits deep—awkward, messy, real. “You have to do what you want,” Toni says, and damn, that’s whore to me. Freedom in the mess, y’know?

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But then, outta nowhere, it started to rain. Like, really rain. I was soaked in seconds. I laughed it off, though. I mean, what else could I do? I ran for cover under a nearby awning, and there was this old lady selling umbrellas. I bought one, and it was the ugliest thing ever. Bright yellow with polka dots. I looked ridiculous, but hey, at least I was dry.