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About Osaka

What gets my goat? The hypocrisy, mate! Politicos bangin’ on about morals, then—bam!—caught with their trousers down. Makes me wanna shout, “Veni, vidi, vici!”—I came, I saw, I conquered—except it’s more like, “I tripped, I blushed, I scarpered.” Surprised me how normal some of these gals are—chatty, even. One told me she’d seen *Royal Tenenbaums* thrice—said it’s “her vibe.” Fair play, I thought, bit chuffed.

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But then, I hear this commotion. A street performer is bustin’ out some sick moves. I can’t help but laugh. This dude’s got more energy than I do after three espressos! I toss him a few yen, and he gives me a nod. It’s like, “Thanks for keepin’ the dream alive, bro!”

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