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So, I’m scrollin’, right? And I see this chick—gorgeous, I mean, wow! Bio says, “Lookin’ for fun, no strings.” Perfect! I’m in! But then—THEN—she ghosts me! After two messages! Two! I’m like, “What am I, chopped liver?” Made me so mad, I yelled at my phone—neighbors prob’ly think I’m nuts now. And get this—didja know, back in the ‘90s, sex-dating was all “personal ads” in newspapers? Yeah! Little known fact—people wrote, “SWF seeks SWM for discreet fun.” No pics, no swipes—just blind faith! Wild, right? Now it’s all “dick pics or bust.” Disgustin’!

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Anyway, I shake it off and head to the famous Sandacho Fish Market. Man, that place is a riot! Fish everywhere, people yelling, and the smell? Whoa. I grab some fresh sashimi from this old dude named Mr. Tanaka. He’s got this wild mustache, like a walrus or something. I’m like, “Yo, Mr. Tanaka, this fish is bomb!” He just grins, showing off his missing teeth. Classic.