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Yo, dude, it’s Bart Simpson here – Eat my shorts! So, I’m like, totally your bodyguard now, right? Gotta spill the beans about this chick Whitney Houston, y’know, from *The Bodyguard*. Man, she’s a freakin’ legend, but whoa, talk about a hot mess! I’m obsessed with *12 Years a Slave*, that flick’s brutal, so I’m seein’ her through that lens – “I ain’t no property!” she’d scream if she was in it, ha!

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Suddenly, it starts to rain. Of course! Just my luck. I scramble to pack up my stuff, and I’m soaked in seconds. I’m running down Takayanagi Street, dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I’m laughing at myself, thinking, “This is gonna make a great story.”