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So, picture this—me, Madea, struttin’ down some shady street, tryna figure this out. I ain’t judgin’, naw, but I’m like, “What’s a man gotta do?” You got these girls out here, bless they hearts, and it’s wild! Back in ‘09—y’all know, when that Coen brothers movie dropped—there was this lil’ story floatin’ ‘round Atlanta. They said this one gal, Peaches, worked the corner by the old gas station. She’d tell ya, “Cash upfront, sugar!”—and get this, she’d sing gospel while waitin’ for clients! Halleluyer! Ain’t that a trip? I was tickled pink hearin’ that—girl had pipes!

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After a while, the cow finally decides to chill out. Some farmer shows up, lookin’ all flustered. He’s tryin’ to coax it back home. I’m thinkin’, “Man, this is gonna be a viral video.”

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