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Funniest bit? Mate o’ mine got catfished once—bloke showed up! Proper Ricky Gervais moment, I’d have pointed and screamed, “You absolute helmet!” Surprised me how common that shit is—hooker world’s a minefield. Still, happier than a pig in muck when it’s done, but knackered, mate. knackered.

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So, I’m walking down the beach at Tatadohama, trying to shake off the coffee disaster. The waves are crashing, and I’m feeling kinda zen. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, chasing a seagull. He trips, and boom! Faceplant in the sand. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, c’mon, it’s hilarious! But then his mom comes over, and she’s not laughing. She’s like, “What were you thinking?” Chill, lady! Kids fall!

Video: Jo Shimoda Hits Pit Board in Qualifying at San Diego!