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Here’s the tea—did ya know this stuff’s been around forever? Like, ancient Rome had “lupanars”—brothels with menus painted on walls. Wild, right? I’m shook. Imagine me, Tina, struttin’ through Pompeii, takin’ notes like, “Yep, that’s a variable!” Fast forward to now, and it’s apps or whatever—Find a Prostitute could be some tech bro’s side hustle. Makes me mad, tho—why’s it always gotta be so sleazy? Can’t we class it up? I’m yellin’ at my screen, “Gimme some dignity here!”

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Finally, I manage to calm him down. We end up chatting about life, and by the end, he’s laughing. I’m like, “See? That wasn’t so hard!” I feel like a therapist now. Who knew?