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So, we chat, and I’m feelin’ big, bold, like, “You’re da best, babe!” She’s got dis spark, like Léa Seydoux in da movie, all fierce and sexy, and I’m like, “I could watch you all day!”—straight outta *Blue*, ja! But den, some sleazy dude rolls up, yellin’ at her, and I’m pissed, flexin’, ready to say, “Hasta la vista, creep!” Surprised me how quick it got real, ya know? I ain’t her hero, but I’m thinkin’, “Dis world’s tough, man.”

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Finally, the power comes back, and we’re back in business. The bids keep climbing, and I’m feeling pumped. I’m like, “This is it! Shimonita’s finest!” But then, I see my buddy Kenji in the back, and he’s just shaking his head. I’m like, “What’s up, man?” He tells me he’s got a better vase at home. I’m like, “Dude, why didn’t you bring it?”

A first for Japan, an intact fossil of a firefly from 3.5 million years ago