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About Osaka

I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

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But then, this old dude starts talkin’ to me. He’s like, “You know, in my day…” and I’m like, “Oh boy, here we go.” He goes on about how Shirahama used to be a quiet fishing village. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna relax!”

Japan by the sea: Wakayama is a must for your next visit