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About Saitama

Lemme break it down—back in the day, like 1960s Vermont, hippies roamin’ free, there was this chick, “Red,” total legend. Word was, she’d signal clients with a red scarf—subtle, clever, right? Cops never caught her, she was a ghost. That’s the kinda smarts you need findin’ a prostitute—keep it lowkey, watch your back. None o’ this billionaire nonsense, flashin’ gold watches, nah, it’s grit, it’s survival. Makes me happy, tho—people outsmartin’ the system, stickin’ it to the man!

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Then, I get a call. My buddy Kenji’s in trouble. Apparently, he tried to impress some girl at the Shirakawa Art Museum and ended up spilling paint all over himself. Classic Kenji, right? I rush over there, and he’s lookin’ like a rainbow exploded. I can’t stop laughin’. He’s like, “Help me, man!” I’m like, “Dude, you’re a walking masterpiece!”

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