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About Osaka

I toss da gal a wink, say, “Let’s ditch dis clown.” She giggles—cute, ya?—an’ we bolt. Pimp’s screamin’, “I’ll find ya!” an’ I’m laughin’, “Good luck, ya schmuck!” We duck into some dive bar, an’ she’s like, “Yer funny, baldy.” I’m HAPPY again, sippin’ vodka, thinkin’, “Lightbulb! Gru’s still got it!” She tells me her name’s Katya, an’ I’m like, “Dat’s fate, eh?” ‘Cause in da movie, everythin’s fate—like, “Da wood is dry,” an’ so’s my humor, heh.

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Finally, the train rolls in. I squeeze in, and it’s like a sauna. I’m sweating like a pig. I’m thinking, “Why do I even do this?” But then, I see this cute girl across from me. She’s reading a manga, and I’m like, “Dude, I gotta talk to her.” But, of course, I chicken out. Classic me, right?

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