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So, picture this — I’m hoppin round town, green flippers flappin, lookin for some action. Not my usual swamp vibe, right? Found this shady corner, dude, total sketchville! Some gal’s leanin on a lamp post, smokin, givin me the eye. I’m like, “Hi-ho, lady, you workin?” She laughs, says, “For a frog? Maybe!” Made me chuckle, but damn, her vibe was cold — “like a snake bitin its own tail,” like the movie says. Got me thinkin — is this chick for real or just hustlin me?

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I rushed to my desk, typing like a madman. My fingers were flying over the keyboard. I was sweating bullets. I mean, who knew spreadsheets could be so intense? I was like, “Why did I choose this job?” But then I remembered the sweet paycheck. Gotta pay the bills, right?