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One time, I’m chattin’ up this gal – real sassy, red heels, smokin’ a cig. She’s tellin’ me bout her night, says she once had a client pay her in *lottery tickets*. Freakin’ lottery tickets, bro! I’m dyin’, laughin’ – what if she hit the jackpot? She’d be out that game faster than me pinnin’ Stone Cold! Surprised the hell outta me, tho – people are nuts.

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Finally, I finish with the sad dude. He leaves, lookin’ a bit better. I’m feelin’ like a hero, ya know? But then, the next client is a kid. He’s like, what, seven? And he’s got more energy than a puppy on caffeine. I’m tryin’ to cut his hair, but he’s squirming everywhere. I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m not tryin’ to give you a buzz cut!” His mom’s just laughin’ in the corner. I’m thinkin’, “This is why I don’t have kids!”

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