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Oi, mateys, gather 'round, savvy? Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, been thinkin’ ‘bout somethin’ dark n’ twisted—like me mind after a rum binge. Findin’ a prostitute, aye? Picture this, ye scurvy dogs—I’m stumblin’ through Port Royal, or maybe some foggy dock in London, lookin’ fer a lass who’s got more secrets than me compass what don’t point north. “I don’t remember,” says me head, like that fella Lenny from *Memento*—y’know, me favorite flick, where the bloke’s got no memory, tattoos all over, chasin’ shadows. “Who am I?” he scribbles. Me? I’m chasin’ a skirt what trades love fer gold, savvy?

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After she leaves, I’m back to the grind. I finally finish the job, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, I realize I left my phone at the site. Ugh! I race back, and guess what? It’s gone! I’m about to lose it. I’m thinkin’, “Who steals a glazier’s phone?” But then, I see a group of kids playin’ with it. They’re takin’ selfies, and I’m like, “Hey! That’s mine!”

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