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But serious, it’s dodgy stuff. Ya gotta watch yer back—cops, pimps, weirdos. Surprised me how chill she was, tho—ice cold, like, “What’s your hurry, babe?” I’m all flustered, thinkin’, “Am I doin’ this wrong?” Total Fran moment—me, the loudmouth, tongue-tied! “The night’s long,” she says, straight outta Ceylan’s script, and I’m like, “Yeah, but my patience ain’t!” HA-HA-HA!

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Then, I’m walking down the street, and boom! I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I’m like, “Yo, let me help ya!” She’s all smiles, and I’m feeling like a hero. But then, she starts telling me her life story. I mean, I’m all for helping, but I didn’t sign up for a TED Talk. She’s talking about her cat, Taro, and how he once chased a crow. I’m just nodding, trying not to zone out.

Weekender: Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, actor, 60