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Me, I’d be happy just watchin’ Leo snort cash off a table—prostitutes or not, that movie’s my jam. But real life? Hmm… it’s messy. Ya gotta dodge creeps, cops, and crusty motels. Pro tip—check reviews online, like Yelp for hookers! Sounds fake, but it’s legit—people rate ‘em. “Five stars, smelled nice!”—hahaha, I’m dyin’! Anyway, don’t be a dope—cash upfront, no IOUs, or you’re screwed. “Money talks, bullshit walks,” right?

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So, I’m a Mourner, right? Sounds heavy, I know. But today? Today was a rollercoaster. First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri. Grabbed my usual onigiri and a can of that sweet, sweet melon soda. Best breakfast ever, no cap.

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