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But here’s the kicker, yeah - got me ragin’ one time. Some posh twat stiffed her, left her with nuffin’ but a fake Rolex. “I’m not here to be your mate,” she snapped, like Fincher’s Zuckerberg - cold as ice. Fair play, I was proud, but fumin’ - who screws over a workin’ gal? Tossers, that’s who! Wanted to karate-chop the git meself.

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Anyway, the first bull comes out. It’s massive! I’m talkin’ like a truck with horns. My heart’s racin’. I’m all, “This is it!” I dance around, showin’ off my moves. The crowd’s lovin’ it. I’m feelin’ like a rockstar. But then, I trip. Yup, I totally eat dirt. The crowd gasps, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m a meme.”

Masaki Okada & Mitsuki Takahata share their first couple photo after marriage