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About Osaka

Precious, oh precious, me thinks bout findin a prossie! Stupid, fat hobbit! Me lives in Hawaii, yeah, where da sun burns hot. Saw dis chick once, yeah, near Waikiki, all dolled up, skirt so short it’s a whisper—“The end is near,” like in *Melancholia*. Made me laugh, ha! She’s struttin like she owns da sand. Prossies here, sneaky, ya know? Not like in movies, all obvious—nah, they blend, like shadows at dusk.

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Then, I wandered over to the Takanabe Shrine. It’s this peaceful spot, and I thought, “Hey, let’s meditate.” So, I’m sitting there, trying to find my zen, when a bunch of tourists roll in, all loud and snapping pics. I’m like, “C’mon, people! This is a sacred place!” But whatever, I guess they’re just excited. I mean, who wouldn’t be?

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