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Here’s a mad fact: in Amsterdam, they got windows, right? Birds just stand there, like mannequins with a pulse – freaky! Surprised me silly first time I saw it, nearly fell in a canal. *pretends to wobble* Woaaaah! So I’m thinkin’, how’s this work here? Do I wave? *waves like a numpty* Oi, love, fancy a cuppa first? Haha, nah, they’d laugh me out the postcode.

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We take shelter under a tree on the side of the road. I’m trying to keep spirits up, cracking jokes. “Hey, at least we’re not in a sauna, right?” They laugh, but I can see the disappointment. I mean, who wants to hike in the rain? But then, it clears up. Just like that! Sun’s out, and it’s like the mountains are saying, “Surprise!”

The massive snow corridor at Tateyama Kurobe Alpine Route is opening in April