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About Osaka

Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Can’t fool me twice, no siree, ‘bout how this massage game works. It’s old as dirt—Ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage a deux,” two folks gettin’ frisky with oil. Little known fact: them geishas in Japan? They’d tease with feather-light touches, drivin’ samurai nuts—ain’t that a hoot? Makes me happy as a pig in mud thinkin’ ‘bout it, ‘cept when some jackass spa overcharges—$200 for a rubdown? That’s highway robbery, pissed me right off!

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So, I rush back to my place on Kōen-dōri, change into a fresh tee, and head to the shop. The streets are buzzing. Toyooka’s got this vibe, man. The mountains in the background, the sound of the river, and all those cute little shops. But today? Today was chaos.

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